Tuesday, 1 May 2012

Opinions of a Housewife - 16 and Pregnant


Now this could be a very unpopular post, but I like to talk about what others may call ‘controversial’ issues and share my opinions in my everyday life as well as on my blog.
Therefore I am going to address the issue of teen mothers and the vast increase in what I would call a trend of school girls getting pregnant.

To kick this off let me say (especially for people who do not know me or have not read my blog before) I have very old fashioned views and long and short of it I am against children being born out of wedlock.
Think about it, years ago people were ashamed and covered up as much as possible an unplanned/teen pregnancy in their families…nowadays there seems to be pretty much the opposite reactions to such situations.  TV vastly advertises it with programmes and movies like 16 and Pregnant, Teen Mom and Juno. I admit to watching these shows and enjoying them as much as any other casual viewer, to an extent they are a good thing – educating younger views to the reality of having a child when they’re are still children themselves. Unfortunately MTV’s apparent ploy of promoting the importance of safe sex doesn’t seem to be working as with every year that passes I see younger and younger girls deciding to cut their lives short and start their own ‘families’.

I am now 21 and am sadly one of the minorities from my year at school without a mini me. I couldn’t imagine having to be responsible for a little person anytime soon either, not because I’m not capable, I’ve just had the experience of being around friends and family’s children and would prefer quite a few years more of good sleep, silence and trips away without always being on the ball. I don’t drink or go out partying so I wouldn’t miss out on that but I’m sure a lot of girls would love to be able to have a carefree party night with their girlfriends instead of being stuck in changing nappies and doing night feeds, no? 
So to get down to some proper details, I’ll start off with some figures and facts!
  • 13 MILLION Children are born to women under the ages of 20, worldwide annually.
  • The United States teen pregnancy rate is 52.1 per 1000, the highest in the developed.
  • The teenage pregnancy rate was at a high in the 1950s and has decreased since then, although there has been an increase in births out of wedlock.
  • Teen pregnancies can affect the child’s physical and mental development.

Evidentially a lot of young girls don’t choose to have a baby, but when they ‘accidently’ fall pregnant a huge amount completely discount all other options, except having and raising the child themselves. This brings us to the super controversial subject of abortion. To be blunt I agree with it. Yes there should be the cut of stage where you can’t terminate, but in the early stages I think this solution should be promoted more for especially young potential mothers. Not only will it affect the education, social and psychological development of the girl but it is proven that the unborn child is more likely to be born with developmental disabilities and grow to have behavioural and physiological problems. It is a fact that daughters born to adolescent parents are more likely to become teen mothers themselves and a son born to a young woman in her teens is three times more likely to serve time in prison.

My point in writing this post is not down on anyone but to try and further understand the girls that are actually trying to become mothers so young. Plenty people under the age of 20 actually plan to have a child, why would they risk the afor mentioned effects or want to tie themselves into such big responsibilities so early in life. The likelihood of the child’s mother and father staying together and getting married is terrible, only 2/10.  In the UK, half of all teenagers with children are lone parents, 40% are cohabitating as a couple and only 10% are married which is obviously a huge shame. But rewarded with money from the government, a council house and constant support, there is so much done to help these girls after the birth instead of educating and preventing.
All that being said, (if a girl is set on starting a family) I don’t disagree with those with the way of life similar to the Gypsy Travellers; They marry young and have children but are more likely to stay in that relationship and support their children themselves.

Overall I find it sad that in my early 20’s I am the odd one out for not having a child when it should be the other way around. If girls accidently fall into the trap, there should be more information available for the abortion option or even adoption so that they can complete schooling and experience a normal social life, giving them time to settle down with a partner before having a baby. For the girls who decide to have a child they should consider the stability of their relationships and whether they can provide well enough for the little person coming into the world. Most of all they need to remember it is not a baby doll or a fashion accessory, its alot of hard work, attention and love. 
I’d love to hear from anyone in a related situation and talk more about the subject, so don’t be shy to get in touch. Thanks for reading and please take anything said here with a pinch of salt, I don’t know your personal situation and in no way mean to offend anyone! 
Danielle x 

2 comments:

  1. I became a mum at 17 but fell pregnant at the young age of 16! My eldest sons dad and I hardly stayed together for over a year but I left due to a violent relationship, I did fall into the 'Trap'. I believed things would be ok and that it would all turn out perfect. Oh how I was wrong & foolish.
    I don't regret having my son but I do wish I'd waited and done things the right way.
    Having a child is a pleasure but I rarely ever get time to myself, the last time I drank alcohol on a night out was in December 2011 and it's now May 2012 and haven't had a night out since! Not only do I need to find the time & a babysitter but children have a huge financial impact too, the last time I bought myself a new pair of shoes was last month & that was the first time in a good 9 months.
    Having a baby should NOT be seen as a trend at all. It's a very serious comitment!
    I adore the movie Juno, I think she had balls to do what she did in that film, and although as a mother it was hard for me to watch I totally understand why she gave her child up for adoption, she had so much ahead of her in life. Although personally I couldn't do it myself.
    I now have a second son, who is 6 months, although if I wasn't a mother already I don't think I would've fallen pregnant again. My fiance' and I chose to have a baby together & I think we both know it was a great decision, he treats my eldest son like his own too which I am so proud of.
    I think if I had a magic wand I would go back and wait to have children until I met that someone who I knew I was going to stay with. I think going through all the experience I have been through with my first born and all the problems with his father have made me a stronger person. I am not suggesting 'fall pregnant like I did and you'll learn' I wouldn't wish what I went through upon anyone with an ex partner but I do think younger females do need to think LONG and HARD about the options they have.
    I don't think adoption is selfish, I think they're doing what's best for themselves & the baby if they can't provide.
    When I fell pregnant abortion didn't cross my mind I think I just knew I wanted my son straight away, I don't know if that's just because I thought everything was going to be perfect at the time. (I wouldn;t change anything now)
    I personally couldn't have an abortion but being a mother now I think that has alot to do with it. But I don't disagree with it either.
    I'm blabbing on now but I have two kids at 20 and it's hard work and not easy at times. I love my sons dearly but to other young females out there just think before you commit yourself to such a serious option of keeping a child.
    You need all the support you can get!

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  2. Pretty much 100% agree with you on this! The only part I don't agree with is that it should be in wedlock as I don't think being married is the be-all-end-all of relationships but in that sense I think you should be in a committed relationship just not necessarily marriage! We need better sex ed in schools and as you said, more info about abortions and options for if 'little accidents' do happen... Also religion should not be so involved, I hate that in catholic schools and the likes they don't give any sex ed - what an absolute joke!! I am 22 and am probably in the minority of people in my school year who don't have kids as well, it's terrifying, I couldn't imagine it at this age at all. They'd get in the way of all my future plans haha! xx

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