Monday, 10 February 2014

Why I Don't Fit In As A Blogger.


I've never fit in.
Since high school, into the world of work and now even online. 
Here is a list of things or reasons that make me a blogger outcast.

(Edit - This post is in no way me complaining about the fact. I like not fitting in most of the time, although certain days I feel down like anyone else. Apologies for posting a negative, un inspiring post. I hope you understand I just like to let the truth out :) )

I have never been and will never go to a meet up.
In general I don't like meeting up with people anyway - let alone lots of strangers!  I strongly dislike large groups and feel awkward having to try and impress (in a way) anyone. I'd much rather stay at home, in my jogging bottoms, behind my computer screen.
That being said I really would love to have a friend or two who I could share my blogging talks with or even meet up, share interests or collaborate with...I think some of my real life friends don't really get my passion towards this little corner of the internet haha.

I prefer my own company...:/

I don't understand the concept of 'blog hops' and giveaways for the purpose of gaining followers.
I think that a following should come from people genuine enjoying your writing and through word of mouth rather than people only following because they have to. In the past I've had alot of people follow and then a few days later unfollow when I haven't returned the gesture, that's really uncool and so awkwardly in your face I don't know how they can so shamelessly seek popularity.

I don't like tea!
Nope. Or coffee. I feel like I'm the only one who doesn't have the customary statement in my 'about me' about how much I like either of the hot drinks oh, and cats. (Nor do I use the word penchant! )

I am actually a photographer.
A vast percentage of blogs I have read, in the list including tea and cats, the word 'photographer' is present. Now if you don't or have never earned money or had work published you aren't reallly a photographer. You may be interested and really good at photography but if that was the case 63% (I don't know, it's the first number that came to my head) of the world would be photographers.
I know this will make me super unpopular (wow, that'll make a change...not!) and I have been argued with before for stating so but owning a DSLR means nothing. You do not need a fancy DSLR just for blog photos.

I am/used to be a portrait and wedding photographer. I have photographed children, families, animals, events and wedding days, both for myself and under another studios name. I still do take on work occasionally but don't actively seek jobs after the death of my car causing getting around a problem at present.

I have no real blogger friends.
Enough said. That's that. Although when trying to join in I usually end up worse off than I started...

Pastel colours, floral patterns and 'vintage'ness are unappealing to me.
Every other blog I visit fits a theme, or the blogger stereotype for design I think.  I feel that my blog is rather different to the standard and there is another point in which I don't fit in.
People fill their rooms with white on white everything and I fill mine with real antique dark wood and rich coloured fabrics. Is white really practical afterall?

Lastly, I don't like Make Up or Fashion.
Well it's not so much that I don't like make up as I take a big interest in the brands (cruelty free if course) and ways in which I wear my make up. However I just feel that how I choose to make my face look better or the products I like, isn't really interesting enough to merit a blog dedicated to it. There are so many others out there after all. As for fashion you know my wardrobe is full of Disney shirts and jogging bottoms.

I know there are many blogs that don't include such posts, but I just wish there were more and that they were more recognized than they are. It's seems as though alot of 'Lifestyle' blogs are now incorporating more and more fashion and beauty, leaving us boring old true lifestyle blogs a minority.

So yeah, there it is. Why I don't belong in this whole blogosphere! It's probably rather all over the place because right now it's 1.08am and I'm busy flicking between YouTube videos and writing. That plus the fact that I'm tired and I don't really want to go back through and proof read this ever means that I look like an illiterate, repetitive fool - probably. Oh well! :) 


  1. Danielle, keep smiling. When your having a bad day just think what makes u happy. Your talented so just keep being positive. xx

    1. Comments and people like you make me happy.
      Thank you for being here :)

  2. Hah! I love your blog. Have since I stumbled upon it. While I really do love tea and coffee and am not a photographer (not even a little bit), I don't "get" blog hops, I hate "follow me and I'll follow you!" bullshit, I swear too much, colours like "mauve" and "raspberry" don't exist in my world (purple and pink) - much to my boss's chagrin - and my idea of fashion is jeans and a hoodie. I HEAR YOU!

    In all seriousness? I prefer blogs that "don't fit in." They make more sense to me. You're real. Keep being that. I think you're awesome.

    1. It's so refreshing to hear someone say this. Especially the 'jeans and a hoodie' part! I thought surely I can't be the only one who doesn't spend hours getting ready to go food shopping haha.

      Thank you so much for commenting, I'm checking out your blog right now!!

      (ps, Carol of the Bells is MY favorite Christmas song too!! I actually just remembered to change my ringtone yesterday as it was still COTB lol)

  3. Oh how I found myself nodding along to your points. I could preach to the cows came home about not needing a DSLR for a blog - it really annoys me when people go on about having to have one, that you aren't a proper blogger or your photographs aren't any good unless you have one. I hear you about blog meet ups too, i'm really shy as a person so the idea of meeting a huge group of strangers like that scares the life out of me!

    1. It's rather sad unfortunately isn't it? I know some awesome blogs who's photos are average, like their layouts but what's important is the content and effort put into it.
      If being a proper blogger means having a swanky blog, with swanky photos and all the swanky equipment to boot...then I guess I'd rather not be a 'proper blogger'! :D

      And I knew I couldn't be the only person nervous around strangers.
      Thanks for reading :)

  4. This is such an honest, beautiful post. I'm so happy that you're doing blogging for YOU. I totally agree with you that I think so many bloggers tend to just get swept up in the hype of trends and just wistfully hop on the bandwagon. I once read on your blog that you started blogging to channel your productivity creatively whilst you were unemployed, and I'll be honest, that always stuck with me as you inspired me to do something with my time! Your blog is amazing, YOU'RE amazing, don't ever change! :)

    Claire xo

    1. I try to be as honest as possible all the time, maybe minus the odd white lie haha.
      After getting it all out of my system I'm happy I'm doing it for me too and I am very, very pleased and humbled to hear that my reason for starting inspired you.

      I don't know about amazing...but thank you so much. I look forward to having a mini meet up sometime :P


  5. +JMJ+

    Was this inspired by last night's Twitter chat? LOL! I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but although I participate in the chat once a week, I'm not really a lifestyle blogger. I just love conversations about blogging . . . such as what we're having now! ;-)

    I've been blogging for over ten years, and I also know that it can be lonely to do your own thing and to feel conspicuously different. You could say that I am a book blogger, but I hardly ever write reviews, which other book bloggers seem to think is the whole point. That's because I hardly ever read reviews. (I also mix things up with posts about movies and TV shows, which seems to be a no-no because it's not good "branding.") But I'm still in this to share my love for specific books, authors and characters, and wish that I could find a community of others who share my enthusiasms, if not also my blogging style. It's really hard to spot kindred spirits in a blogosphere where only those who fit in are easy to find.

    1. I actually had it drafted for about a week or so, but I thought last nights chat just presented a good opportunity to get it out there.

      There were alot of misunderstanding last night and I was sent a message saying that I was specifying who should and shouldn't be allowed to join in. In no way was I saying that people shouldn't be allowed to join in, I was merely stating the fact that the topic was very beauty focused and a different topic would of been more easily understood by people like me haha. I felt bad that I'd maybe felt some people feel bad but then thought about how I feel all of the time being an 'outcast'.

      Wow, 10 years is an amazing achievement and I really look up to your style of blog because of it being a kind of niche subject.
      I found more of the type of blogs I want to read though this post and the chat last night than I have in my 4 years of blogging and your last sentence there just completely sums everything up.

      Best wishes to you, thank you for your comment.

  6. So many things in which I feel the same way. I was bullied since a little kid. We moved from a big city to a small village when I was 1 year-old. You might think that a one-year-old wouldn't have trouble with adjusting to a new area. And I actually didn't have trouble with it, but it was the accent the other kids found hard to accept. Because that accent made me different and my parents weren't born in this small town like their parents. I never had real friends when I was little and when it was time for me to go to Secondary School I went on my own. All the other kids already knew someone. I had a tough time, but eventually I found my way and made some friends. Some friend that are still friends right now, but some aren't and I'm okay with that.

    I don't have a blogging friend either or have a huge amount of followers, but that's why I like your blog. It's YOUR story I am reading and not some blogger's story that wants to gain more followers, to gain popularity, to become a blogger guru. I feel ya girl, and I hope that some time, you feel that you fit in, because you do something your good at or that you love doing.

    Anyways, I love your blog so please keep going.

    xoxo Anne ~ Life as a Rolling Stone

    1. This comment here is what makes me fit in. I guess sometimes, the people that don't fit in elsewhere fit in together!
      I had an awful time in school, bullying, bulimia, depression and then I lost my only friend to Cancer.
      Your comment makes me remember that I'm not the only one.

      And I love your blog for the exact same reasons.

      Thank you very much for being here and for your comment. Best wishes <3

  7. Personally, I think you fit in just fine by being yourself. That's the most important thing. Sure, a lot of us like pastels and some of us like tea, but I think your a lovely girl despite having different opinions - it doesn't make you an outcast. x

    1. I suppose we all fit in in our own ways and reading the comments of the post makes me realize I just fit in with different people.
      I don't mean to offend those who do like or do the above by the way :P
      Thank you :)

  8. Aw this was a great read, think there is a pressure to fit in, and being you is what makes your blog special. I hold my hands up to being guilty of the fashion and the whole white room and decor! Very unoriginal but I guess I do like those things because of the blogs I read! Your photography is beautiful, love the pic of the baby - precious! Great joe honest you have been- lets all take a leaf out of your book x

    1. I really didn't mean to offend or imply un-originality so I hope I haven't worded things in a nasty way :/
      I think whatever people are into is fine and of course people will get ideas and be inspired by things they see, I am too, and that's fine too.
      Thank you so much for your honest too and I really appreciate you liking my photography.

      Best wishes.

  9. Pah, the great thing about a blog is that it's a part of who you are, and you should write and feature what you want to include. I think as long as you're happy with what you write then that's what's important.

    Obviously some people like to evolve their blogs in a certain way, but each to their own. And noone should get upset or arsey about other people having views.

    Love your photo of the girl in the water - so beautiful and almost haunting. I'm a fan of my smartphone for photos (blog or otherwise), don't drink tea or coffee.

    And, I have to say I'm amazed at how many views beauty blogs's obviously down to people searching for products, as I know my couple of posts where I mentioned certain skincare I'd been given/tried and loved, still get lots of hits. But I can't say that many of them really stand out as being different because it's all the same to me. It's hard to get a real feel of the person behind it when it's less lifestyle and 'over-beautied'.

    You just keep on what you're doing. That's what you love, and that's always what's important.

    1. Here are some of the other photos from that set if you are interested...

  10. ''But I can't say that many of them really stand out as being different because it's all the same to me. It's hard to get a real feel of the person behind it when it's less lifestyle and 'over-beautied'.'' - YES. Exactly.

    Thanks alot for the compliment! That photo is actually from an Alice in Wonderland inspired photoshoot I did with my cousin :) I have a post on here somewhere with the full set.

    Thank you for your comment!

  11. My favourite blogs are those filled with personality .. a little insight into someone's world, to me that's what blogging is all about. Personally I find blogs that are solely about beauty or fashion rather dull, but each to their own - we're all different!

    Your blog is unique and different and you ... be proud and don't worry about what anyone else is doing, just keep on writing great original posts x

    1. I completely agree :D

      And thank you - I really appreciate all these fabulous comments.

  12. Just be yourself and never try to change as you would loose your unique style and as said in other comments you have a right to your opinions you have ALWAYS had your own creative style and strong opinions which has made you a stronger person with good values and some quirky ways which i love it just makes you you lol Love reading all your bloggs keep up the good work :D xx

  13. Sometimes I feel like I'm not really fitting in because of the style I write in, or that I'm not up with the latest fashion, and I've had the same nail varnish on for the past 3 weeks and it's chipped etc etc. But whatever, I'm not going to wear things just because they're in fashion. I wear dresses I love whether everyone else loves them or not. I feel like there is a really clicky part of blogs that I'm not apart off, but that's okay. I'm not lucky enough to have somebody that can take great photos of me, I'm not brave enough to take photos outside where The Others can see me. So I made my own community at the forums and there are so many different people there that have different views, from beauty, fashion, lifestyle, cooking, photo's a day, whatever. It doesn't matter if you're blog is pastel pink or bright green - I just want to read things that make me smile and get to know people that interact with me.

    Just because I post mainly personal style, doesn't meant I'm only interested in that. I like much more. Just like I love watching the Vampire Diaries even though I'm not a Vampire - just because it's not what the majority are doing, doesn't mean that it won't be interesting to them!

    Corinne x

    1. I wish this was like Facebook so I could like your comment.
      Good points :)
      Thank you :)

  14. I actually just found this post after reading about your time out with Claire.
    I love this post. It's a no nonsense, all cards on the table post. This is you and I love it.
    I may be called nerdy tea girl but the only tea I usually drink is iced tea or green tea. haha. :P
    I don't think I class myself as a proper photographer, people have always told me I take great photos when I can be bothered to leave the house and I always love snapping photos. I should get back into it. ;)

    As for blogger friends. I'm happy enough to be your friend. Alot of people I know, don't know of my blog and I like it that way because people don't understand blogging in my world and it's nice to have a corner of my world where I have blogger friends and meet up with them. I've always been someone who has had few friends in my life or people who have never really understood me. So having people read my blog and like it. That is really something to be proud of.

    I'm not much of a make-up person despite my posts, I do love nail varnish and will forever blog my favourite nail colours. I wear basic make-up everyday, foundation, eyeliner, masacra and a bit of lippy which is usually a nude colour and eyeshadow if i'm feeling extra nice. most days my hair is a mess and i'm wearing a bathrobe. haha.

    I love your passion, I love your photography and you are an amazing person and I can't wait to hang out with you, sipping milkshakes and getting to know your photographers eye for things. ;)


    1. Aw I love this! I adore your blog because it is the perfect mix of everything - a true representation of you and your loves. When this is the case I enjoy reading posts about cosmetics etc (especially Barry M - cruelty free yey!) but when a blog is full of reviews of things sent to them or bought purely for the sake of a post I feel that I can't connect with the blogger.

      Thanks so much for this comment. I'm super excited to meet you too!

  15. This is such a relatable post! I found myself reading along thinking 'me too' haha! I'm definitely not a vintage-y lover, don't drink tea and using giveaways to gain followers rather than rewarding ones you already have with a giveaway (hope that makes sense ha!) It's very refreshing to see a blogger so straight to the point and so unapologeticly herself, I love it :D


  16. Interesting post! The bit about not liking tea made me laugh, that is certainly a trope isn't it?